An apology

Dear readers,

Upon re-reading my post from yesterday I felt it was a little too chipper. I understand that my patients are going through some real suffering. Yes, there is real hope, but there is also a great deal of grief for many of my patients and their families; I did not emphasize this dichotomy enough in my original post. Yesterday afternoon I updated the post to be more sensitive to the pain that can be involved in changing circumstances. Please forgive me if I have caused you to feel invalidated or hurt. 

My mission is always to validate and build up others through my words—to create positive connections. Although I may err again, I pray that my words can be more thoughtful in the future. 

Sincerely,

Kiki

Moving Forward Without Looking Back: Neuroplasticity and Hope

“When will our lives be back to normal?”

This is probably the most common question I receive from patients and their families.  I usually dodge it:  Instead, I estimate the timeline for reaching the patient’s goals and establishing a daily communication (or eating/swallowing) routine.  Because honestly, what is “normal”?

This isn’t a pithy rhetorical question.  Does “normal” mean following an established pattern with the resources you have?  That can start during the recovery process, although there may be great suffering in it.  Does “normal” mean a predictable life with no obstacles?  I can confidently say that will never happen.  What was expected yesterday may not be expected today.  Yet this clinging, this preference for the past over the future, is common.  We long for the security of the known.

How can we shift our expectations to allow for the changes that are happening in our lives?  How do I, as a therapist, talk about moving forward with my patients—and with myself?