Sometimes, I fail. I don't finish my daily to-do list. I overcook dinner. My words fall flat, or worse, hurt someone’s feelings. Too often, my response to myself is harsh: I’m lazy, I am not a good cook, I’m a bad communicator. My failures define me.
Conversely, when I succeed, I own a success as if it is a
part of me. I am a great planner, a
gourmet cook, the next Madeleine L’Engle.
Praising and criticizing myself for my innate abilities can
create the illusion that my successes and my failures define me and determine
my worth. That’s a lot of pressure! Also, I am reinforcing the idea that my
successes and failures are due to innate abilities, which are difficult to
change.
The good news is that our dignity is inherent, no matter how
talented we are (or aren’t). And we do
have the power to try again if we want to.
So how can we use our words to remind ourselves—and others—that our
successes and failures do not define us?
How can we use our words to encourage each other to keep trying even
when things don’t work out the way we hope?
