“When will our lives be back to normal?”
This is probably the most common question I receive from
patients and their families. I usually
dodge it: Instead, I estimate the
timeline for reaching the patient’s goals and establishing a daily
communication (or eating/swallowing) routine.
Because honestly, what is “normal”?
This isn’t a pithy rhetorical question. Does “normal” mean following an established
pattern with the resources you have? That
can start during the recovery process, although there may be great suffering in it. Does “normal” mean a predictable
life with no obstacles? I can confidently
say that will never happen. What was
expected yesterday may not be expected today.
Yet this clinging, this preference for the past over the future, is
common. We long for the security of the
known.
How can we shift our expectations to allow for the changes
that are happening in our lives? How do
I, as a therapist, talk about moving forward with my patients—and with myself?
