Communicating when it isn't easy

Communication is connection. For most of us, it's easy. A sideways glance. Hands on hips, feet tapping. A kiss on the cheek.

Sometimes, we use words. "Did you see that?" "Please take out the garbage." "I love you." Like magic, the words we conjure in our brains turn into sound waves, travel through the air, and become words summoned in the brain of another.  The written word is equally mysterious. Arbitrary shapes become stories, poems, proverbs. You are reading my words now, somewhere far from the tapping of my keyboard.

So what happens when there is an interruption to the brain? Imagine a blindfold, cotton in your ears, marbles in your mouth. Not so easy now.

When we encounter someone with a communication disorder, it is important to remember: just because communication is complicated doesn't mean it is impossible. Just because we have to work for a connection doesn't change its worthiness. Just because someone has a disability doesn't change their dignity. We must recognize the value of every person.  With the psalmist, we sing: "How many are your works, LORD! In wisdom you made them all" (Psalm 104:24, NIV).

I recently spent some time caring for a family member with some pretty severe communication disorders secondary to strokes and dementia. His spontaneous communication is limited and he often has trouble understanding conversations. But he is still there, laughing at jokes about going bald and smiling at memories in the photo book I brought for him. Each word he speaks seems more precious than before. I am learning to appreciate communication when it is difficult—and when it is easy too.

As a Speech Therapist, I believe that everyone deserves to be heard. Everyone. Even if they talk too much, even if they can barely say a word, even if it is hard to understand them. We all know someone with a communication disorder. Maybe it is a neighbor's child, or someone we meet at the grocery store or the post office, or maybe a loved one. Let's make an effort to listen—really listen—even if it takes a little extra time and effort.

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I recently posted a page of communication tips for family members of people with dementia. We have been using these communication strategies with my family member, and what a difference we see! For SLPs and other healthcare workers, feel free to use this handout with patients and families as long as you keep the source line. I will try to add more handouts with communication tips for different disorders (both acquired and developmental) in the Speech Therapy tab as I update the website each month.