This is Who I Am: an interview with my friend Sydney

"This is Who I am and That's How it's Gonna Be”

An interview with my friend Sydney

My friend Sydney always has something helpful to say when I most need to hear it.  Sydney and I met as coworkers at a pediatric clinic.  The more time I spent with her, the more I learned about her courage and positivity.  Sydney is athletic, courageous, funny, and charming.  She is a great movie buddy—we love watching movies like Wonder Woman and Star Wars together.  Sydney is also very open about her experiences growing up with and living with an intellectual disability.  The other day, I invited her to share some tea and popcorn at my place so she could tell her story.

We started by talking about sports.  Sydney has done track, basketball, horseback riding, swimming, and skiing.  Her favorite sport is horesback riding: "I love horses, because I've been around them since I was in second grade."  In fact, she still volunteers at the horse stable where she learned to ride.  Her eyes lit up as she talked about working with the horses.  "I actually help bring horses in, or feed them, and dump out the dirty water and put in clean water.  And I get them groomed and saddled and brideled and just love on the horses." 

Then we dove into her experiences competing as a swimmer in the Special Olympics.  I expected her to emphasize the pressures of such a prestigious competition, but instead, she focused on the experience of swimming itself.  "Swimming is a really good sport," she said.  "It helps your cardio and moving your arms, and going backwards with your arms."  She started to demonstrate how to do the backstroke right there on my couch, and we laughed as her arms bumped against the pillows.  Backstroke is her favorite stroke.  And she can even do the butterfly stroke, one I find extremely difficult.  I asked her how she learned those difficult swimming strokes.  "I just pay attention," she replied.

Sydney loves to learn new sports.  Recently, she recounted, "I actually had my new experience skiing in the woods."  While on vacation each year, she skis with Steamboat Adaptive Recreational Sports (STARS).  Sydney had lots of positive things to say about STARS:  "great organization, they help you with how you need to do your pole plants and how to ski moguls and how to ski woods and everything.  The woods was really really fun.  It can get dangerous if you don't know what you're doing."  A mischievous grin played across her face.

Sydney's casual air of confidence is not boastful; when she talks about herself, she is quite humble.  When I asked if she had any challenges at the Special Olympics, she paused.  "Not really."  She shrugged.  "I just say, 'I can do this,' and I have confidence that I can do it."  How does she feel such confidence?  "The Holy Spirit," she explained.  "The Holy Spirit guides me on that path, and God will lead you to that point."

Even though learning isn't always easy for Sydney, she perseveres and triumphs.  When I asked her about a challenge she had to work hard to overcome, she described learning to make her bed after washing the sheets.  "My mom she actually taught me how to do all of it and I did it all by myself.  I just take it step by step."  She also shared a bit about her experiences with her intellectual disability.  "Well, what's easy is I know my reading skills and I know how to spell words and everything, so my strongsuit is English.  But math is my weakness.  So I have a hard time with numbers and having to count up money and everything like that.  And that's why I have an intellectual disability."

When she was young, she did speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy.  Most recently, she had to return to physical therapy after hurting her ankle while horseback riding.  During our talk, she demonstrated some of her physical therapy exercises, which she still does every day, even though she healed from that injury long ago.  My favorite one to watch was the ABCs, where she spelled out the alphabet by moving her foot.  "It [therapy] helped me a lot; I mean I wouldn't been bike riding or I would've not been rollerblading if I did not do those things."  Her advice to anyone who needs to do therapy to work on their skills is this:  "be patient with that person, because you never know what can go wrong and what they have going on in their lives.  Everybody's different."  She then described a time she had to be patient with herself and her therapist:  "Well, I had to be patient with speech therapy, because… it took me a while to process what she was asking me.  So I had to think about it before I had it out there."  Then she talked about her therapy activities.  "Reading was a little bit harder, but when I got into it and everything I developed that I loved reading."  When it comes to learning a new skill, motivation is key for Sydney.  "When you're working so hard and you really want to get it, just put your mind to it.  Think about what you want to do with it, and go with it."

Sydney is a voracious reader.  Every time I talk to her she is reading a new book.  A few weeks ago, she was reading The Godfather, by Mario Puzo.  She's already finished it and is reading the sequel.  "The Godfather was a very very long book that I achieved!  And now I'm reading The Godfather Returns."  She highly recommends both the books and the movies.

Something else I admire about Sydney is her kindness.  Even when people are being difficult, she responds with grace.  Her strategy for dealing with conflict is simple and direct:  "Don't criticize yourself.  Think about it as, be yourself."  She said it is important to ask the other person how you can change.  Then, "I would be like, 'Hey, I'm sorry that I said that.  I can be better about rewording it.'"

Sydney is a master communicator.  In fact, even when I was asking her about sports, she talked about how sports can connect people.  And she has good reason to think that way—after all, she met her lifelong partner at the Special Olympics!  Even books and movies are an opportunity to connect with people.  On vacations, she chats with her partner’s family about their favorite books and movies.  As she falls asleep, she prays by telling God about the books and movies she was thinking about that day.

Sydney is also active in her Bible Study at church.  For Sydney, the best thing about Bible Study is, "You're really connected with God.  You're basically in Spirit….  Singing is like basically you're in worship…. God is directing you to do it."  When I asked about her favorite songs, she was quick to point out that she has to limit listening to Christian music, because often it makes her cry.  She is very emotionally connected with God.  No wonder she is so kind and patient with everyone.

I hope Sydney can be a role model for others, both with and without disabilities.  Her advice for people with intellectual disabilities is "Don't be shy.  I mean, don't hesitate or anything.  Just think about it and then say it."  She also advised me to "Put a smile on!  Be more outgoing or something.  Like, go have tea with somebody at Starbucks or something."  She knows how much I love tea.

I shared with Sydney that sometimes I struggle with self confidence.  Sydney had some sage words.  "You need to tell yourself:  I am who I am and this is who I am and that's how it's gonna be."  She gave me a knowing smile.  "God does not want you to worry.  God just wants you to live your life and try to be as positive as possible."  She described her morning routine.  "So when you get up for work or something like that, if you look in the mirror and you see something [negative], you just say, 'it's a new day.  Nothing's gonna bother me.'"  She talked about the positive effects of being outdoors, and about the importance of confidently meeting new people.  "Go out there and just share the world and be like, 'Hey, this is who I am.'"